Mikage has her troll face on.

We would have had 18 out last week, but then a derpy copy of 19 showed up, so we couldn’t very well subjugate you all to a chapter out of context, could we? So here’s TWO chapters at once, as a reward for your patience! You, uh… You DID wait to read 19 until 18 was out, right? RIGHT? Because that chapter KILLS anything 18 builds up to out of context. BUT JUST SAYIN’.

Ch. 18 was edited by Shinigami and Melly pulled OMEGAS double-duty on ch. 19 with scanning, editing, AND QC, with Grover leading the charge with guns blazing ALSO on QC! (for both chapters, of course) THAT’S TEAMWORK RIGHT THERE. Typesetting and translation by yours truly, but that’s the easy part so it doesn’t count.

Download Barajou no Kiss ch. 18 + 19
Read Barajou no Kiss ch. 18 +19 online

HAVE AT THEE! (Feel free to donate if you enjoyed the release and don’t forget to follow us on twitter!

The Joker’s got nothin’ on this Raep Face.

Through some large-scale disaster, be it natural or cosmic, it’s Monday again and we’re here with a new batch of releases for your reading pleasure. Unfortunately, the gore wasn’t a go for today. Believe me, I’m just as sad, if not sadder than the rest of you. Delicious Mebius… Next week, p’raps.

Anyway! This week it’s chapter 17 of Barajou no Kiss, featuring the editing stylings of Shinigami and QC by Melfra and Clov3r; and chapter 21 of Evangelion Gakuen Datenroku (ONLY ONE LEFT!) editing magic worked by RainStride and featuring return appearances by Melfra and Clov3r at QC, so go grab ‘em while they’re hawt.

Btw, while we’re on the topic, stop trying to direct-link to the zips on our server, m’kay? It won’t work, and it makes you look silly.

404. They do NOT got the beat.

Ho ho ho ho. Heh.

Aw, I got nothin’.

Anyway, Melly and I got caught up with yard work for pretty much the entirety of yesterday, so neither of us were able to post the day’s releases. BUT NOW WE GOT ‘EM. This one’s for you, Shouoto fans.

FIRST UP, SLH. This is the one where literally half the team (and everyone working on it, har har) flipped their shit cheering for Hiyoki. WHY!? Read it and find out! Thanks to Shae and Shinigami for editing, Zippy for typesetting, and Melfra and Clover as always for catching all my derk-ups. (har har) AND special thanks to Dynamint at LJ for helping me understand Yamashina’s hellacious equation.
Download/Read S.L.H. Room #6 online

And here’s a guest credits page by Clover, and HOGOD THAT’S THE CUTEST THING I’VE EVER–KALSKDJF;LAKSJDF;

And this chapter of Barajou should tell you why the two new members of the cast and crew AREN’T members of the harem. Oh, wait. That comes next chapter. BAH, THIS IS CLOSE ENOUGH. Anyway! Thanks to Shinigami for editing (lawl, again), Baki for typesetting, HUGE props to Zippy for helping me finish up in time for the deadline (even though we didn’t make it anyway OTL), and Melly and Clover for pointing out my shortcomings. DERP DERP

Download/Read Barajou no Kiss ch. 16 – The Fake Rose online

And that’s it for next week. STAY TUNED NEXT TIME FOR GORE! I hope.

Look! You scared Shinji! Well… Okay, we know that’s not hard, but still.

First off, can we all just pretend we released this on Friday? Because (GASP!) Turtle Paradise is moving to a release schedule! (Good god, it only took us two years.) Expect new releases of WHATEVER THE HELL WE PLAN ON RELEASING every Friday! What time? Psht… Don’t give us that much credit as forward-thinking individuals. We ain’t smart folk, no siree. ANYWAY! BREAK DOWN OF RELEASES!

First we have chapter 17 (GASP) of Evangelion Gakuen Datenroku! I know, I know… Took us long enough, right? But it’s out now! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!? That’s what I thought. Enjoy it, Eva-geeks. Editing brought to you by Rainstride, friend to forest-dwellers everywhere.

Download Neon Genesis Evangelion Gakuen Datenroku vol.4 ch.17

Second we have the promised HQ re-release of volume 1 (specifically, chapters 1 and 2) of Barajou! I’ve gone through and touched up a lot of the dialogue and corrected some translations for the entire first volume (including Anis’s name), so if you haven’t done it recently, maybe now’s a good time to re-visit it? Besides, volume one’s easily the best of them all. (Or maybe tied with volume 2?) Editing by the multi-talented Melfra, who also runs a mean scanning bed. Yes, she will fark your shite up, don’t even.

Download Barajou no Kiss chapters 1-5 (v2)

The new chapters haven’t been uploaded yet, because Melly and I want to bust some ass on WoW. In the meantime, ENJOY~

(Also, Follow us on Twitter! Uh, and… Please consider donating to the server fund? =D)

EDIT: Now uploaded to the reader!

THE SERVERS ARE CRASHING!?

No, the servers aren’t crashing… BUT WORLD SURE AS HELL IS COMING TO AN END.

In 2012, that is. (I heard that was a pretty garbage movie, BTW. I walked in on my fam watching it a while ago and this lady was trying to give her kids to some monk to escape the impending Armageddon. “Please,” she says, “Wouldn’t you want the same for your own children?” BITCH, MONKS ARE CELIBATE. I giggled obnoxiously and left the room shortly thereafter.)

But we’re not here to talk about 2012 now, are we? HELL NO! That’s right, half of you want your Shouoto eye-candy, and the other half of you are here to put Mimori in your pocket! Guess what, guys? TODAY, YOU GET TO DO BOTH. After a million years of waiting, we finally managed to finish chapter 4 of SLH, thanks in no small part to Melly, once again putting pinch-hitting editor duty, and Zippy and Magmar on the typesetting front. On that note, this chapter of Barajou is also brought to you by Melly (who seems to have a monopoly on the Shouoto front, IF YOU ASK ME), and Baki at the typesetting helm, and finally, we’ve got Shae pulling editing duty for this chapter of Omamori, with EpikWonder typesetting.

I HOPE YOU GUYS CAN TELL OUR STAFF IS GROWING, AND I COULDN’T BE PROUDER. But enough of my HEE-HAW, go read the new chapters!

Download/Read Barajou no Kiss chapter 15: Audition! ☆ The Band of Many Faces
Download/Read SLH chapter 4 (end volume 1)
Download Omamori no Kamisama chapter 4: The Lost Omamori

And while we’re at it, Melly (JEEZE, MELLY) has overhauled the reader in a pretty amazing way. As always, it’s still a new thing, so go check it out and tell us what you think!

BY THE WAY, FOLLOW US ON TWITTER! All the cool kids are doing it… And you do want to be one of the cool kids… don’t you?

Guess who’s got cream puffs?

Today, I bring you not one, but TWO pieces of awesome! Ranked in order of how awesome I think they are. Or not. YOU’LL NEVER KNOW!

First of all, we bring you the special chapter of Barajou no Kiss, entitled “24 Hours with the Roses” or something like that. It hasn’t been published in any volumes, and it might not be, since it was an Asuka special chapter. That’s still great though, right? Right. It’s worth giggles at least!

Second! (and maybe the most awesome but that’s for you to decide!) I’ve spent the last week whipping up an online reader for the site, so now you can read our releases… online! It’s designed in the same style as the forum, so don’t worry if the page looks quite a bit different from the main. Chapters 1 and 2 of Barajou (and the first three volumes of Evangelion Datenroku) aren’t online currently because they’re all pending re-release.. more info on that later! For now, consider the reader in beta, and if you find any problems at all, please say so in this post so I can fix ‘em!

Visit Turtle Paradise’s Online Reader!
Or download the special chapter of Barajou no Kiss!

NOW ENJOY YOUR GOODIES

Oh, we’re plotting alright.

There are a million billion people out there in the world right now and I’m willing to bet that today is one of their birthdays. So here’s to you, Mister one in a million billion people out there in the world right now; be glad that on this day XXX years ago your mother catapulted you out of her gaping maw and into this world. Here, have this present of not one, but two chapters of Barajou… and thank YOU for being born.

Okay, so all Evangelion-based lampooning aside, I’ll bet you’re all wondering WHY this chapter took so goddamn long to get out. It’s because we no longer have any editors. Nope, not a goddamn one. Our last dependable staffer has disappeared off the face of the planet (like so many before her) and we don’t have anyone to step up to the plate in her place. And hopefully, that’s where one of you will come in. (By which I mean plz plz plz take the editor test oh my GOD we need help.)

ANYWAY! As of this chapter we’ve changed “Anise’s” name to the official romanization of “Anis”. PROTIP: It’s pronounced Ah-nis, with a soft “A,” not a hard “A” like in “Anus,” which is pretty much the reason we changed it to begin with. But worry not, we’re gonna go and re-do the earlier chapters to reflect that change later this month to make up for not releasing anything on the 21st. (Durp durr)

Anywho, thanks for being patient (Oh god I can’t say that with a straight face…), and enjoy the new chapters. Yeah. They’re plotty… Or at least the second one is. YAY, CONFLICT. We also went ahead and re-released chapters 11 and 12 to get you started. (That brings ch.12 up to a whopping v3, lawl. OH BOY, DOES THAT EVER LOOK GOOD.)

Download Barajou no Kiss chapter 13:
Attack! ☆ My Neighbor’s Body Measurements; and
Barajou no Kiss chapter 14: Beware of Idols?!

Anyway, not to be a fear-mongerer or anything, but if we don’t get any new editors in the near future, like, REALLY near future, we’re probably going to have to shut down for a while. Both Melly and I go to work AND school full time, and neither of us really has the extra time to do too much more of this on our own, so unless we get some more hands on staff, our release rate’s gonna go down even more than it already has… and that’s saying a lot. Again, visit the forums and take the EDITOR tests if you have the time! (We’re set with typesetters for the time being. All we need right now are IMAGE EDITORS.)

It’s a well known fact that most of TP’s staff is around college age, and with that comes (drumroll, please) excessive schoolwork, which is what we’re all dealing with right now, and it seems that Barajou has become collateral damage in our ongoing war against atrophy. Woops.

Long story short, the next chapter of Barajou is going to be delayed a bit, but we’ll get it out when we can. In the mean time we might have some other releases, but that’s because we’ve got multiple staff working on their own projects, and Barajou just happens to be more time consuming than most.

Thanks for your understanding!

PS: By popular demand, we have a twitter now. I’m still trying to figure out how this works, so… follow us? =D

And I hope YOU’RE all happy.

A few kind viewers pointed out with the last chapter that we made a couple of hiccups with the final release (as usual), which I… promptly forgot to do anything about. Oops. The errors were pretty minor in scope, ranging from double commas (GO ME), to omitting words. The biggest mistake I can think of is on page 80 where the various stages of the contracts were described (I accidentally listed them all as “Stage I”), and the stupidest… Well, I misspelled some stuff on the credits page, but really, who cares about that? (We do, dammit! That’s why we’re releasing a v2!)

If you’re perfectly content with keeping the version you have, by all means, go for it. But if you download this version, you’ll get a sneak peak at some new art by Shouoto which came with this month’s Asuka magazine. >=D (INCENTIVE!)

Download Barajou no Kiss vol.3 ch.12 (v2)

And, um, please donate if you have any spare change lying around? =’D We’d love you forever.

The knights in full regalia! Yes. I approve of this sort of fanservice.

Just in the nick of time, we bring you the newest chapter of Barajou! Hey, it counts as long as it’s before midnight, right? Right. Anywho, Shouoto decides to be merciful and finally explains the plot to us ignorant masses. I expect this to turn into an RPG Harem in little to no time at all. HELL. YEAH. Thousand Arms, anyone? Well, no… I’m sure other games have done it before, and done it better.

Ooops. Rambling!

Download Barajou no Kiss chapter 12: Carbonation and Delicacy

BTW, sorry about the delay on the twelve days event! We’ll pick it back up tomorrow and work the missing books in sometime before Christmas. AREN’T YOU EXCITED?